1. You’ve become dependent on them
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When you start to feel dependent on your relationship, it is a sign that you could be neglecting other aspects of your life. Before them, you had your independence. So, it’s super important to keep that, even if you love this person and enjoy spending the majority of your time with them. Otherwise, when things go wrong they could totally ruin your life.
2. They hate you going out
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Huge RED flag right here. If your current partner hates it when you’re off on a night out with your friends, then something’s up. If you’ve never given them a reason in the past, there’s no reason for them to hate you going out. And if your partner tries to stop you then chances are this relationship is doomed to fail.
3. They criticize everything you do
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I mean, nobody likes criticism really do they? But, it’s completely different when someone dishes out some constructive advice in comparison with criticising and scrutinising everything you do. If the latter sounds like your partner you run the risk of losing your self confidence. So either they need to change, or you need to go.
4. They are in control of all the important decisions
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It’s often normal in a relationship that each partner look after different things. But for one person to call all the shots? Hell nah. This is a bad sign. If your partner is deciding everything from the finances, to where you live, then something is definitely not right here.
5. You seem to be less close to your nearest and dearest with them
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Now, a sure sign of a partner who will ruin your life is when they start to isolate you and cut you off from your nearest and dearest. it’s a controlling technique to make them your entire world. But it’s not healthy or good, and if this is happening and you don’t feel like they’ll let you stop then…dump them!
6. You hide things about them from your friends/ family
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Are you trying to portray a perfect picture of them? Are you telling people what they want to hear and what you WISH was the truth? Because if this is the case, ask yourself why you feel you have to do that. If you aren’t happy with the real version, then maybe they’re not the one for you.
7. Happy couples make your jealous
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When we’re not happy with ourselves or where we’re currently at, we can look at happy couples and think ‘ew, you make me sick!’. But, when we’re happy with ourselves and our life we look at happy couples and think ‘aw, look at them. So CUTE’. So, if you’re happy in your relationship then you shouldn’t feel jealous of other couples.
8. They flirt with other people in front of you
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Look, every couple and every person has different boundaries on what they see as acceptable and unacceptable behaviour in a relationship. But if your partner is knowingly crossing these boundaries in front of you, it’s hugely disrespectful to you. It’s also a sign that they aren’t super trustworthy
9. They lie to you a lot
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Lies, lies and more lies. A relationship HAS to be built on a solid foundation of trust – it’s literally the number one essential for any healthy relationship. So when your partner lies to you, you feel constantly on edge because you don’t trust what they’ll say or what they’ll do. You can never feel secure in a relationship like this. And, this person sounds like they could ruin your life…
10. They are volatile with you
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Getting upset and irritated with each other is completely unavoidable and normal in any relationship – we’re only human after all, right? But volatility and anger is a different story altogether. If this person gets uncontrollably angry and if it’s ever frightening then this relationship is not the one for you!
11. They check your whereabouts and your phone
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This is a huge violation of your personal privacy and it screams toxic! And, a relationship can never work if it’s based on checking one another’s phones and checking their whereabouts to see if they’re lying to you. Just because you’re in a relationship does not mean you are not entitled to your privacy.
12. You feel like you have to ‘perform’ to keep them happy
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Do you feel like you have to do certain things, act a certain way to keep them happy? Because, if so, this is not right. You should be able to be your true self, on down days, on good days, on lazy and proactive days and they should accept and love you the same each and every time.
13. You never know what they’re thinking
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It may sound a little bit cliché…but communication really is key. If you’re in a relationship with someone and have a life with someone – you can’t be second-guessing what they’re thinking. They should express their thoughts and feelings to you. Otherwise, how will it ever work?
14. You don’t feel secure with your partner
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We really should all feel secure in our relationship, we should feel a sense of security with our partner. If you do not, then it’s a sign that something is a little off. Is it them that is making you feel that way? Or, is it you and you need to communicate your feelings better?
15. They cannot control their spending
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Okay, a big tell tale sign that this person is going to ruin your life! If they cannot control their spending, chances are they use up all their money, Then…are they going to ask for your money next? Or, is your money altogether? Look, this is never going to end well – don’t let them use every hard earned penny.
16. You don’t stop arguing
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If you both can never stop arguing then is it really worth being together? This partner is clearly not suited to you, otherwise you wouldn’t butt heads over everything and anything. So, if you don’t want them to ruin your life, then either try and solve the issues or maybe just move on.
17. They berate you for any attention you get
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Look, you can’t help being so gorgeous. If people stare and come up to you asking for your number, there’s nothing you can do about it. As long as you respond in a respectful way to your partner, then that’s all they can ask. But, if they berate you for this happening – this person’s going to ruin your life if they can’t cope with anybody even so much as glancing at you.
18. They get into trouble with the law
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You do not want to be dragged down by your partner if they’re getting into scrapes with the law. Who knows, maybe they’ll end up inside? And then what? You don’t want to be involved with this kind of drama, it will only end up ruining your life as well as their own!
19. You feel drained by your partner
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That feeling when a person just sucks all of the energy from you, making you feel like you’ve got nothing else means that this person isn’t a match for you. Your partner should uplift you and make you feel revitalised. Not the other way around. If they are draining you…this person’s definitely not adding to your life.
20. You hope that they’ll change
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You can’t live with a partner in the hope that they’ll change. You should love who they are now at this very moment and always. Staying with someone on the premise that they’ll be change is only going to end up in tears. Chances are, they won’t. And, you should be with the person you want, not that you wish they’d be.
21. You feel like you’re treading on egg shells
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Nobody can live their life treading one eggshells around someone, hoping not to upset them or do or say the wrong thing. It’s not healthy for you. You should feel open and at ease with your partner. You should be able to tell them anything without fear of their reaction.
22. You feel trapped
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You should never feel trapped by your relationship, and if you do you should ask yourself why? Is it because your partner is controlling? Do you feel held back by your relationship? Either way, feeling trapped isn’t right and you should feel the total opposite with the right person for you.
23. They belittle you in front of others
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This is one of the nastiest things you can do. Belittling somebody in front of other people is a sure way to strip them of their self confidence and make them feel humiliated. There’s never any excuse for it. And, if your partner does this to you, it’s a sure sign they’ll end up ruining your life!
24. They have an obsessive personality
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Obsessive personalities can of course be kept under control. It doesn’t mean that someone with an obsessive personality lets them get to a point of obsession, although it’s harder for them. But if they do, they may be addicted to a hobby, or even you. This can end up taking over their and your life.
25. They’re rude about the people you love
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Nobody should ever be rude to you about the people you love. And if somebody loves and respects you, this will never be the case. If they are doing this, it sounds like your partner may be trying to turn you against them with the intention of keeping you all to themselves, a very toxic trait!
26. They tell you what you should think
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Nobody ever had the right to tell you what to think. You are your own person with your own mind and views. And, in a healthy relationship these would be embraced, rather than shut down. If they’re trying to put thoughts in your head…this partner is not good news.
27. They have substance abuse issues
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Substance abuse issues can be overcome. And it can definitely be admirable to stand by your partner while they are becoming sober with treatment and help. But, if this person has substance abuse issues that they are not overcoming this will end up ruining their life and yours.
28. They ignore your boundaries
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Boundaries are SUPER important. They should be there to protect your mental health and your happiness. The least somebody else can do is respect your boundaries as you would respect theirs. If this is not the case, it shows that this person does not care about your well being…
29. They gaslight you
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Gaslighting is a manipulation technique. If a person gaslights you, they are making you question whether your version of events is the reality, making you doubt yourself and trying to feed you lies. It’s never okay, and if your partner gaslights you then they’ll ruin your life.
30. You’ve become more anxious the longer you’re with them
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Anxiety is something that many people experience. Yet, if anything, our partner should help our anxiety decrease. They should be our safety net. If you feel like you have growing anxiety the longer you are with them then it’s probably time to call it quits before this person ruins your life.
31. They have a HUGE superiority complex
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If they have a superiority complex, all it means is that they’re always going to think they’re superior than you – and that’s not going to work in the long-term. Over time, when you should be partners, they are just going to act as if they’re better than you, or fight against any sort of criticism during arguments.
32. They give backhanded compliments
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You might not have even realised why this is an issue because you think technically they’re giving you compliments, so it must be sweet, right? No, backhanded compliments aren’t it. You deserve to be complimented in a very straightforward way, and backhanded compliments are just going to wear you down over time.
33. They have zero self-esteem
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If your partner doesn’t have any self-esteem whatsoever, this is going to be a red flag for your relationship. Not because you can’t support them in building confidence, but more so because usually people who hate themselves are going to become paranoid and jealous or take it out on you.
34. They’re an absolute control freak
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It’s one thing to just like to be in control of certain things in a relationship, but if their entire personality is ‘control freak’ then it’s going to spell problems for your relationship in the long-term. Eventually, you’ll find there are less and less things you’re free to do.
35. They are very, very jealous
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Jealousy never, ever spells a healthy relationship – because if there’s jealous that means there’s no trust, and if there’s no trust, there’s no chance! And the problem with jealousy, too, is that they never see it as their problem – they’ll take it out on you for ‘looking that way’ or ‘doing those things’.
36. They have any form of addiction
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Addiction is going to spell problems for a lot of relationships. What matters is if the person is willing to admit they have a problem so you can work through it together. But if they have a serious addiction like drug addiction or substance abuse, that’s not something that spells a happy ending!
37. They have secret debts
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Secret debt is never, ever a good thing to have in a relationship – money issues can be worked through, but when you’re keeping serious debt a secret from a partner, it’s just going to snowball into more lies – and probably more debt. Not only that, but if you end up getting married, their debt becomes your debt.
38. They make idle threats – all the time
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‘If you keep arguing with me, I’m going to pack my bags and leave’, ‘if you go out tonight, I won’t be here when you get back’ or ‘if you don’t admit you were wrong, it’s over between us’. You know how it goes. They make a lot of threats to scare you but never follow through with anything.
39. They have a bit of a temper
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It’s never okay for a partner to be violent, even if they take it out on the wall and not you. If your partner doesn’t have a stable way of working through their emotions, and ends up taking their temper out on you, it’s not going to bode well for a healthy, happy relationship.
40. You don’t think they’re capable of saying ‘sorry’
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Every relationship needs give and take, and that means admitting when you’re wrong. It’s important to know when to apologize and admit you messed up – but a partner who will never, ever admit they’re wrong – when they most definitely are – will just ruin your patience.
41. Sweeping problems under the rug is their favorite thing to do
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A happy relationship isn’t about never having any problems – it’s about speaking openly together and working through them. So if your partner is happy to go through your life together pretending everything is fine while that rug is getting pretty full with stuff under it, it’s a problem.
42. You’re getting narcissist vibes
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You definitely need to watch out for narcissist red flags in a relationship, because a relationship with a narcissist is never going to end well. You can expect signs like emotional abuse, gaslighting, demeaning you, and thinking they’re better than everyone else.
43. Their communication just plain sucks
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There are two difficult issues to navigate: either they’re really bad at communicating even if they try, or they don’t try at all. Both are problematic but the latter is where the real issue begins. If they aren’t even trying to communicate properly with you, it’s a bad sign!
44. They don’t have your back – at all
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If you don’t feel like your partner supports you, even in the little things, not only is it going to negatively impact your relationship, but also your self-esteem! Because you’re going to start doubting whether the things you’re doing are worth supporting (they are) or whether you’re doing something wrong (you’re not).
45. They always put their friends before you
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Friends are important, and it shouldn’t ever be a choice of ‘it’s me or them’. What needs to happen is a compromise – splitting your time and energy equally, and knowing that everyone is important. But a partner should never put their friends before their relationship!
46. Or their needs before yours
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In the same way, they shouldn’t put their needs above yours. Both your needs are important and they need to be voiced equally, but if they’re just going around acting like what you need doesn’t matter – while their needs do – it’s a red flag and it’ll ruin you in the long run!
47. They show no interest in your day
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Those little moments of ‘how was your day’ or ‘what have you done today’ are all part of a relationship, and taking an interest is important. In fact, just asking the question isn’t enough if you secretly don’t care and don’t wait for the answer! If they never ask about your day, that’s no good.
48. And they don’t make an effort to learn about your hobbies
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Sharing your passions and hobbies with a partner is so important – you don’t have to share the same ones, but merely talking about yours with them, and having them taking an interest, is key. So if they couldn’t care less about what you do in your downtime, that’s bad!
49. They only want to satisfy themselves in the bedroom
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Nobody wants a selfish lover, whether it’s a one night stand or a marriage! This can cause friction in your relationship, but not only that, it shows you where their heads at in terms of enjoying being intimate with you and caring enough to make sure you’re having a good time, too!
50. Or you don’t have sex at all
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Unless you have a healthy and happy reason for this, like being asexual or waiting until marriage, not having sex is a problem if you’re both people who want to have sex. Intimacy is really important in a physical way, so if it’s not happening, there’s a reason – and it needs to be worked through!
