The time: a scorching hot summer’s day in May 2018.
The place: my living room.
Me: clutching a tear stained tissue, sniffling, and marvelling at how wrong I was when I shrugged and said “Oh, I’m not that fussed about the royal wedding” just a few days beforehand. How very, very wrong.
I really thought I didn’t care, and yet there I was, glued to the screen, unsuccessfully choking back tears as Meghan walked down the aisle to Handel’s ‘Eternal Source of Light Divine’ like the goddamn goddess she is.
It’s easy to be jealous of Meghan- successful actress, certified stunner, charitable ambassador, and now married an eligible prince. If the green eyed monster has you in its clutches, here’s a list of things Meg can no longer do we can bitterly cling to for comfort.
The Princess is in the Building
I’ve always quite fancied a job as security staff: wearing an ear piece, saying things like “10-4” and “secure the perimeter”. Aside from my intense clumsiness, short attention span, and tendency to be vehemently startled by even medium volume noises, I’d be a shoe in.
50. Go anywhere without protection
No, not like how the rest of us optimistically keep a lone condom in our wallet, just in case.
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Protection of a more professional, armed, scary nature- as a royal, she’ll be guarded wherever she goes.
49. Work as an actress
Much like Anne Hathaway in 2001, she’s taking on the role of a lifetime- P R I N C E S S.
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This will involve a lot of acting- nodding and looking interested as people tell you their life stories, pretending to be excited about opening supermarkets etc- but she won’t be allowed to continue her acting career.
48. Reprise her role on ‘Suits’
This means no more suiting up as Rachel in US Legal drama ‘Suits’. Harry first fell for her on screen, so there’s a sad irony that she has to leave this particular role behind her.
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