There’s nothing better than stuffing your face with greasy food after a night on the p*ss. There’s something about being smashed that makes us crave a certain type of food and all we want to do is hit that drunken spot in our bellies and be 100% satisfied.
Let’s be honest there’s nothing us Brits love more than a good night out and we often get fully smashed as the first choice of things we do in an evening. When the nights coming to an end we inevitably end up going for some drunken food and there’s only ever one type of food we go for.
The type of food is mostly classic takeaway grub and for some reason, only that type of food will sort us out. If we’re seriously drunk then this is a sure fire way to sober us up or needed to be happy enough to go to sleep. The food is often so tasty that when we’re full we drift off in a matter of seconds.
Here’s a list of our favourite 15 drunk foods, let us know if we missed your favourite!
1. Chips and Gravy.
Wow. What a combination. There are no chips better than chippy chips and to top it off with one of the nations favourite sources makes it an absolute dream at the end of a night.
2. Chips and Curry Sauce.
You can never have too much curry sauce on your chips if you ask me. Curry sauce is now a classic takeaway sauce and a lot of people prefer it over gravy! Not me – no chance I’d be swapping gravy for curry sauce.
3. Chips, sauce and half rice/noodles.
Leftover Chinese from earlier on in the evening = Less of a hangover. It always tastes better when you’re drunk too. Just a quick reheat if you can be bothered and you’re ready. But it also tastes amazing when it’s cold.
4. A Parmo.
You lot in the North East have got it right! A Chicken Fillet, covered in Bechemel sauce and cheese sounds like sheer perfection. I can’t believe I’ve never tried this, now I need a reason to have a night out in Newcastle just to try this bad boy!
5. McDonald’s.
£30 worth to be more precise and usually 20 mozzarella dippers and 40 chicken nuggets later. Nuggets are easily in the top 3 McDonalds ‘night out’ foods, but the burgers also hit the spot and sometimes all you need is a Mcflurry!
6. Chips & Scraps.
As if chippie chips weren’t unhealthy enough. Scraps with your chips turn it into a food heart attack. Though when you’re pissed it’s exactly what you need and it tastes amazing.
7. Chips, cheese & gravy.
Absolute perfection if you ask me. It doesn’t get much better than that. Gordon Ramsey eat your heart out. I think this is considered a Northern thing so if you’re sat there thinking what on Earth? Then get some on your next night out, I promise you won’t regret it! If the place you’re going after a night out doesn’t sell it then I suggest you never go back there again, the takeaway isn’t worthy of your time.
8. A battered sausage.
This isn’t always the best option but it can pay off and if you mix it with your chips and curry, you’re definitely onto a winner there. For some reason battering something makes it ten times tastier, someone should try it with chips, imagine that! I don’t think you could get anything more unhealthy but it fits the takeaway mould!
9. Chips, cheese and beans.
You’re asking for a hard time on the toilet the next day if you pick this as your “piss up meal”. It’s absolutely gorgeous on a night out but can sometimes leave you worse off in the morning.
10. Chips and Chippie Sauce.
Yes, you lot from Edinburgh know what I’m talking about. Sadly, this isn’t available out of Scotland, but it’s definitely worth a trip up there just to try this stuff. It’s deemed the best takeaway food north of The Wall (Hadrian’s Wall) and if you have any excuse to go to Scotland go there and get your lips on some of these!
11. Pub tapas.
Which usually consists of loads of different flavours of crisps mixed together. They’re usually demolished within one minute of being put on the table but it’s a good effort at trying to be civilised and have a bit of food at the pub. It’s always the same mate who buys them too and acts like he’s paying for everyone’s night.
12. Pork scratchings.
When there’s nothing else left to eat in the pub so you go for the pork scratchings and then instantly regret it when the heartburn starts. Some people adore these but they’re frankly horrible. Anyway, each to their own!
13. Whatever you find in your fridge when you get in.
Munching on anything you can get your hands on. Even if it’s been in there for quite a while, we’ll still warm it up and stuff it in our faces. 3-day old cake? Fine. An opened packet of ham and month old cheese? Let’s make a toastie! We really don’t care at this point all we want is some belly satisfaction and nothing will stop us.
14. Chips & cheese.
The ratio of chips to cheese should be 1:3 ideally because cheese is just….life. And so are chips for that matter. With or without gravy or curry sauce, cheesy chips are just the absolute best and they hit the spot a lot better than most things ever can.
15. Kebab meat in a naan bread covered in sauce.
Chilli sauce and garlic mayo. You can’t beat it really. Plus, it usually ends up on the pavement 5 minutes later after throwing it back up because you’ve eaten it too fast. Or because you’re too drunk to carry it and it all falls out of your hands. They’re nearly impossible to eat whilst looking attractive and when it comes to the point in the night where you’re eating one, looking attractive is last on the list of priorities. Let’s eat the kebab and get in bed!
