1 – Mini Bean Bags
Every PE lesson was boring as hell, but then there would be one lesson when the teacher got these out and everyone would go insane. You loved played with these things. Well, actually, you just loved throwing them at people and terrorising all the other kiddies. These were the perfect weapons – they left no bruises or marks.
2 – Bucket Stilts
These must have been the most impractical things in the entire world, yet we all had some at one point. You must remember trying your hardest not to fall over. It was basically impossible and our parents knew it. They probably only got us them so that they could laugh when we fell flat on our bums. Evil people.
3 – Mothercare Tree
Woah – when we think about it, this tree was pretty damn creepy. Whenever we went to Mothercare, we used to go and stare at it… just waiting for it to talk to us. When it did speak, you were absolutely thrilled! It made your life, and then you’d tell all your mates that a TREE spoke to you and it obviously means you are magic.
4 – Shopping Toys
Playing with a pretend till and making your mates buy stuff from you was the best way to spend an hour or two. You used to fantasise about being a grown up. Who knew that just ten years later, this would be the reality of your life. When you realised that retail was actually code for HELL, it was the worst day of your life.
5 – Sun Maid Raisins
These were in every kid’s lunchbox when we were little, and they were literally the worst possible snack. Really, we wanted to be eating sweets and chocolate… not dried up grapes. Our parents used to get multipacks of them, which meant you’d have to eat them for weeks and weeks on end. You’d always pray for the day they’d run out!
6 – Love Bugs
Why did we all have these? They were proper fun until you accidentally broke their legs off. Then they didn’t do anything and it was ALL your fault. You’d try to scare people with them by telling them to open the little box… but no one fell for it because we all knew just what was inside. Duh.
7 – Spaghetti Letters
Trying to spell out words with this stuff was always a messy job. We don’t get why our parents told us not to play with our meals, and then gave us this stuff! Talk about sending mixed messages. Having a plate full of chips with these on top was one of the greatest dinners we could imagine. Sadly, it was a rare one!
8 – Adams
When we needed school stuff, there was only one thing for it. It was time for a quick trip to Adams… but, it was never a quick trip, was it? Your mum would spend hours and hours making you try on every damn thing. That meant that you had to be a mini model for the day, which was no fun at all.
9 – Caterpillar Cake
If your birthday rolled around and you didn’t get one of these cakes, there would be hell to pay. Every kid loved these and would scream the place down if they didn’t get one. Rumour has it, you can still get these treats. Some supermarkets still make them, which means that the fun NEVER has to stop. I know what cake I’ll be giving my kids when I’m older!
10 – Meg and Mog
Do you remember what happened in this book? No, neither do we! But, we do remember that we had a copy of it in our rooms when we were kids. Basically, this was one of our first ever books, and we loved looking at the pictures. Reading the words was a whole other thing – we never, ever bothered with that!
11 – No More Tears
Sure, it might say ‘No More Tears’ on the advert, but we knew the truth. Our parents must’ve been trying to punish us for something when they decided to buy this stuff. Still, the bottles were colourful and it didn’t smell horrible, so we put up with the stinging sensation in our eyes every time we had a bath. It was worth it.
12 – The Map Mat
Why was it that every toddler had one of these? It was even better if you happened to have a little car to drive around the mat. That basically meant hours of fun for you. And, for your parents, it meant that you would shut the hell up for a couple of hours. And, if we’re completely honest, we know that is all a parent ever really wants!
13 – Cabbage Patch Dolls
There’s no doubt about it – there was something VERY creepy about these little dolls. They might have come out in the 80s, but we were obsessed with them in the 90s! Everyone had one of these things and they were all meant to be unique or something like that. What did you call yours? I called mine ‘Demon Child’ – thought it was fitting.
